And they both were angry at my suggestion. They said, ”This is not nice of you to suggest that we
separate.”
I said, ”Yes, I suggest it. Get a divorce.” And they were both ready to fight with me.
I said, ”You need not fight with me because I don’t hate you, I don’t love you, darling; I am simply
not part of it. Exclude me out, I am going back. I just dropped in the suggestion – you can think
about it. Only three months have passed. After thirty years you will be still in the same situation, but
then it will be too late, even divorce will not be of any help. You will have become addicted to the
quarreling, to the fighting, to everything that you hate. You will become addicted to it, you will miss
it.”
They were very angry; they closed the door in my face. I said, ”Thank you.”
After two months the wife went to see her mother for a week – her mother was sick – and in just one
week Professor Nityanand Mukhopadhyaya started coming to me and continuously saying, ”I miss
my wife so much. I cannot sleep – the bed seems so empty.”
I said, ”And the room also seems so empty, things are not all over the place. Why don’t you throw
things yourself? Shout a little, scream a little – and she is not here so you can say anything you
want. Throw things, beat on the clothes, and then come to the climax: I love you, darling. And you
will have a good sleep.”
He said, ”You must be joking.”
I said, ”Why should I be joking? You try it – what is the harm?”
And you will not believe it: not that day, but after two days, he tried it – because I heard it. He
was doing really a great job, greater than he had done ever before, a greater performance. And he
climaxed it: ”I love you, darling.” And soon I heard him snoring.
In the morning I went to see his room; things were all over the place. The servant opened the
bedroom; the professor was still asleep. I woke him up; I said, ”You did such a good performance.”
He said, ”Really, it works. I was just trying, knowing perfectly well that it was not going to work. How
could it work? – she is not here. But it worked; slowly slowly I got hotter and hotter. She was almost
here: when I was beating the pillows I was beating her. And I have never given her such a good
beating – it was such a deep contentment to the heart. I have never slept so deeply. You were right.”
But this is the situation of almost everybody. You become addicted to your pain, to your misery, to
your suffering. You really don’t want to get rid of it.
You go on asking how to get rid of it, but that is also a strategy of the mind; to go on inquiring how to
get rid of it.
Have you ever asked sincerely, do you want to get rid of it? Are you ready to live without all the
miseries and the pains and the sufferings that you have been carrying all along? Will you be ready to be left alone without all these longstanding companions who have been with you in thick and thin,
who have never left you?
When everybody was leaving you, they were still with you. They have followed you like a shadow;
they have been in a certain way a consolation. This will be very shocking to you when I say they
have been in a certain way a consolation to you. When I say that, I have many things implied in it.
Your suffering makes you somebody special. Without all your suffering, you are nobody. Who are
you? You will not even have something to talk about with anybody. You will be at a loss – what are
you going to talk about?
In England, people talk about the weather just to avoid real conversation. It is a very sophisticated
way, to talk about weather. But it looks a little idiotic because you are seeing the weather, I am
seeing the weather, it makes no sense to say, ”What a beautiful day, how sunny!” you are seeing it,
you are also in the same day. You are not tomorrow, you are not yesterday, you are here with me.
And you say, ”Yes, so beautiful!”
This is because of the English character; it is one of the most phony characters in the world. It
does not want to raise any controversial conversation. Politics is dangerous, there is controversy;
religion is dangerous, there is controversy; literature is dangerous, there is controversy. Except the
weather there seems to be nothing non-controversial – something on which both can agree without
any problem.
It is said that two Englishmen were traveling in a compartment for almost three hours. Then the
ticket checker came in, looked at them ... they were looking very sad and depressed. He asked ....
One said, ”Three hours sitting, not even somebody to talk to.”
He said, ”Just in front of you another Englishman is sitting – you could have talked.”
The man said, ”But how? – because nobody introduced us. Without an introduction it is a kind of
trespass.”
I have heard another story too, that a man went to meet his wife – a four or five-hour journey. The
wife had come to the station to receive him, and he was looking very tired, utterly tired. She asked,
”What is the matter? Why are you looking so tired?”
He said, ”It always happens when I have to sit in a position where my back is against the direction of
the train. If I am sitting against the direction of the train – the train is going this way, and I am sitting
facing that way – then my whole body gets very tired.”
The wife said, ”But there was no problem. You could have asked the gentleman in the front seat,
‘This is my trouble; would you be kind enough to change?’”
He said, ”I wanted to but there was no gentleman, the seat was empty. Whom to ask?”
These are very sophisticated people.
separate.”
I said, ”Yes, I suggest it. Get a divorce.” And they were both ready to fight with me.
I said, ”You need not fight with me because I don’t hate you, I don’t love you, darling; I am simply
not part of it. Exclude me out, I am going back. I just dropped in the suggestion – you can think
about it. Only three months have passed. After thirty years you will be still in the same situation, but
then it will be too late, even divorce will not be of any help. You will have become addicted to the
quarreling, to the fighting, to everything that you hate. You will become addicted to it, you will miss
it.”
They were very angry; they closed the door in my face. I said, ”Thank you.”
After two months the wife went to see her mother for a week – her mother was sick – and in just one
week Professor Nityanand Mukhopadhyaya started coming to me and continuously saying, ”I miss
my wife so much. I cannot sleep – the bed seems so empty.”
I said, ”And the room also seems so empty, things are not all over the place. Why don’t you throw
things yourself? Shout a little, scream a little – and she is not here so you can say anything you
want. Throw things, beat on the clothes, and then come to the climax: I love you, darling. And you
will have a good sleep.”
He said, ”You must be joking.”
I said, ”Why should I be joking? You try it – what is the harm?”
And you will not believe it: not that day, but after two days, he tried it – because I heard it. He
was doing really a great job, greater than he had done ever before, a greater performance. And he
climaxed it: ”I love you, darling.” And soon I heard him snoring.
In the morning I went to see his room; things were all over the place. The servant opened the
bedroom; the professor was still asleep. I woke him up; I said, ”You did such a good performance.”
He said, ”Really, it works. I was just trying, knowing perfectly well that it was not going to work. How
could it work? – she is not here. But it worked; slowly slowly I got hotter and hotter. She was almost
here: when I was beating the pillows I was beating her. And I have never given her such a good
beating – it was such a deep contentment to the heart. I have never slept so deeply. You were right.”
But this is the situation of almost everybody. You become addicted to your pain, to your misery, to
your suffering. You really don’t want to get rid of it.
You go on asking how to get rid of it, but that is also a strategy of the mind; to go on inquiring how to
get rid of it.
Have you ever asked sincerely, do you want to get rid of it? Are you ready to live without all the
miseries and the pains and the sufferings that you have been carrying all along? Will you be ready to be left alone without all these longstanding companions who have been with you in thick and thin,
who have never left you?
When everybody was leaving you, they were still with you. They have followed you like a shadow;
they have been in a certain way a consolation. This will be very shocking to you when I say they
have been in a certain way a consolation to you. When I say that, I have many things implied in it.
Your suffering makes you somebody special. Without all your suffering, you are nobody. Who are
you? You will not even have something to talk about with anybody. You will be at a loss – what are
you going to talk about?
In England, people talk about the weather just to avoid real conversation. It is a very sophisticated
way, to talk about weather. But it looks a little idiotic because you are seeing the weather, I am
seeing the weather, it makes no sense to say, ”What a beautiful day, how sunny!” you are seeing it,
you are also in the same day. You are not tomorrow, you are not yesterday, you are here with me.
And you say, ”Yes, so beautiful!”
This is because of the English character; it is one of the most phony characters in the world. It
does not want to raise any controversial conversation. Politics is dangerous, there is controversy;
religion is dangerous, there is controversy; literature is dangerous, there is controversy. Except the
weather there seems to be nothing non-controversial – something on which both can agree without
any problem.
It is said that two Englishmen were traveling in a compartment for almost three hours. Then the
ticket checker came in, looked at them ... they were looking very sad and depressed. He asked ....
One said, ”Three hours sitting, not even somebody to talk to.”
He said, ”Just in front of you another Englishman is sitting – you could have talked.”
The man said, ”But how? – because nobody introduced us. Without an introduction it is a kind of
trespass.”
I have heard another story too, that a man went to meet his wife – a four or five-hour journey. The
wife had come to the station to receive him, and he was looking very tired, utterly tired. She asked,
”What is the matter? Why are you looking so tired?”
He said, ”It always happens when I have to sit in a position where my back is against the direction of
the train. If I am sitting against the direction of the train – the train is going this way, and I am sitting
facing that way – then my whole body gets very tired.”
The wife said, ”But there was no problem. You could have asked the gentleman in the front seat,
‘This is my trouble; would you be kind enough to change?’”
He said, ”I wanted to but there was no gentleman, the seat was empty. Whom to ask?”
These are very sophisticated people.
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